Yene Assegid: Change Agent

Life Lessons from the Women of TEDxJohannesburg

(Article 9/20 in the series)

August is Women’s Month in South Africa. To celebrate, we’re conducting long-form interviews with 20 women who have spoken at TEDxJohannesburg. Inspired by Huffington Post’s Sophia project, we’re asking them to share stories and advice about topics that are central to a well-lived life.

What is a recent realisation you have had about living a more rewarding/fulfilling life?

Sometimes we seem to be waiting for goals to be achieved or stuff to be acquired or things to happen in our lives in order to feel happy, rewarded and fulfilled. Yet true happiness emerges when we stop focusing so much on our own needs and our own desires. And when we look outwards to others, to the world, to our community, to complete strangers, to our friends and family and see how we can be a source of inspiration to them. As we put ourselves in genuine service to others; something special happens…and that for me is a moment of life fulfilment.

Tell us something about an area of your expertise that took you years to learn.

I work on Change and Transformation both in individual lives and corporate change management programs. As simple and obvious as this sounds, what I have learned is that one can only change when one is ready to change.

All the failures, obstacles and hurts I have experienced rank among my memorable gifts from life.

Whether in our private lives or in our work, unless we are ready, truly ready, no amount of money, resources, pressure can make us change. But, when we are actually ready for change. Truly ready from within our deepest awareness; then, nothing can stop the change. It will most certainly happen. Actually, in the split second between considering Change and committing to Change…is huge. Once we commit, the Change is already done and the remaining work is only about logistics and action plan to execute. The real change happens when we finally are ready and take the decision to move ahead with the Change we want.

What do you feel is the most helpful thing your parents did for you that many parents don’t do?

I don’t know what other parents do or don’t do. I know my parents did the best they knew when raising their children. We had a loving home without being spoiled in any way. There was always order and discipline along with laughter and play. Nothing unusual I don’t think.

Tell us about a book (or books) that had a significant impact on you.

The Bible

What is something small or seemingly insignificant that contributes greatly to your happiness?

Random and anonymous acts of kindness

Tell us about a memorable gift you’ve given or received.

I guess all the failures, obstacles and hurts I have experienced rank among my memorable gifts from life…

My favourite mode of travel is conversations.

I count them as gifts (in retrospect) because they have taught me some of the toughest lessons. And I am grateful for what I have learned.

What is a regret you have that others could learn from?

I wish I was as patient with myself as I am with others. It would certainly make life easier & lighter.

Tell us about a travel experience or destination that you would recommend to others.

Sometimes the most exciting trips are the virtual travel experiences we do as we engage in a conversation with someone. And through the conversation we get to experience their worldview, their lives, their dreams and fears, etc. My favourite mode of travel is conversations.

What habits/routines do you keep that are especially unique or beneficial?

I intentionally limit my time online to working hours; and I only do one thing at a time (no multi-tasking).

What apps (or other technologies) have the greatest impact on your happiness/personal fulfillment?

The usual apps to make calls or send text for free.

The question for me is really about asking what would I do differently if I lived each moment as if it was my last.

My family and friends are spread all over the planet, so these apps make it affordable to stay in touch.

How would you have handled your own education differently?

If I had to do it again, I would have spent a year off to do as many short internships as possible, in different industries, to help me make a better informed choice about the path for life, for studies and for work.

What do you know now about living a satisfying life that you didn’t know when you were twenty?

It’s all about living in the present as much as possible; living with the heart in the driver’s seat instead of the mind.

What do you think about when you think about death?

I think it’s a transition. When we are alive and well, we hardly think of death. Sometimes we forget that one day we will no longer be around. Yet the day will come when we take our last breath, hopefully in peace.

The question for me is really about asking what would I do differently — in my own life, in my relationship with my family, friends and colleagues, in my everyday dealings, in how I choose to relate to others in general — if I lived each moment as if it was my last.

Watch Yene Assegid’s TEDxJohannesburg talk: Change, one step at a time

Visit tedxjohannesburg.co.za for more.